% Have I Told You...I HATE Small Spaces %

So last Wednesday I arrived at St. Lukes Hospital in Meridian for a gastric emptying study. I had the pleasure of being escorted by my daddy. I was very nauseated and upon informing the rad tech she informed me that if I puke we would have to schedule the test for another day...lol...I was so gonna puke. As I was ingesting my radioactive egg sammich (if that is what you could call the thing) she informed me if I was to puke the procedure that would have to be followed. They would have to use a special spill kit to clean up the vomit and the items used to clean, the vomit, and any other items in contact with the vomit would have to be placed in a lead bin for 7 days before it could be disposed of. I found this quite funny lol... The test went good and I managed to keep the "goods" in lol..Upon the results of that test, (stomach is emptying normally) which we received Monday, we decided to do a MRI. So today, Tuesday, I went to St.Lukes and participated in a MRI lol...I have never have a problem with small spaces, but today I found out that I don't like being put in little tubes with loud noises... The results from the MRI should be in tomorrow. The current findings are the my ducts are dilated and filled with sludge. They are wanting to go in and do a conscious surgery in which they would clean and repair the ducts. Than we are following on to the next dr..which should be a specialist in autoimmune diseases.
Someone close to me told me that I needed to learn to surrender. Those who know me would agree that I am a stubborn person and that surrender isn't in my dictonary. So as I was laying here on the couch (pain is at 6) I looked around my insanely dirty house, the pile of laundry, the dirty floors, the dirty counters, and I see the lesson of surrender. I was thinking that since I won't do it on my own, I am being forced to learn what it is like to surrender.
I was having a discussing with a dear cousin of mine and the subject turned to faith (something I thought I would never talk to him about) and when I told him I had lost faith, he was wowed. He told me that he looked up to me for the faith that I had always had. I was the last person that he thought would lose faith. WOW if that doesn't give one a reason to step back...I have not lost the hope of true faith, but have lost faith in just about everything. I will not stop in my journey in finding faith..though the road seems long and windy...I think of the song.."it's not the one who runs the swifest, but the one that endures to the end"